Dear Hyperemesis (HG)-
Today I should be taking a pregnancy test and recording crazy videos and taking photos with my husband celebrating the positive test results just like in the past.
(Pregnancy Announcement video 2009)
But, I am not.
We've been there and done that twice, and emotionally I was ready to be doing it again. We both were. But physically, we know that now is not the time.
Why you ask...with a stupid grin.
You know exactly why. You are the reason I am not pregnant today and you love it.
You love to come into pregnant women's lives and steal their joy. You rob them of nearly every breath. You wreck havoc on their bodies, sending them to the hospital suffering, only to find there is no relief but time. You steal future babies daily.
You cause extreme weight loss, excessive vomiting, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, doubt, family arguments, hate, and desperation in nearly every woman you invade.
Hyperemesis, you suck!
I would kill you if I could. I am trying, trust me. I would rather see you dead than an expecting mom or unborn baby any day.
Since 2009, after 7 months on bed rest with you sucking the life out of me, I vowed to NEVER have another baby.
Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. It is generally described as unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. If severe and/or inadequately treated, it is typically associated with:
- -loss of greater than 5% of pre-pregnancy body weight (usually over 10%)
- -dehydration and production of ketones
- -nutritional deficiencies
- -metabolic imbalances
- -difficulty with daily activities
Because of you my pregnancy was not kind to me. Not a day went by that I didn't feel like I was dying. Every day, I just sat waited to take my last breath. I watched helplessly as you tried to steal my life from me.
You stole my daughters mommy away as my doctor worked tirelessly to save my life and my baby Gabriella's as well.
Zofran, Reglan, Prednisone, Scopolamine, IV's, GI Cocktails, and more medications were all on my side fighting against you and the side effects of your dreadful visit.
You were still winning.
But I want you to know that today I followed up with my current Sidelines Buddy, who I have supported emotionally throughout her hyperemesis-ridden pregnancy for the past few months, and she has delivered a brand new beautiful girl.
She is through with you, and I am refreshed.
She is buddy number 5 that you have tried to claim that I have supported since becoming a Sidelines Volunteer in 2007. That motivates me to have no fear.
So, you are no longer winning and you will not steal my babies from me.
I may not be announcing a pregnancy today as I once would have liked to do, but I'm not doing so by my choice...not by fear.
I no longer fear you. I am going to continue to fight you every chance I get. Whether I am supporting another mom-to-be, or having another baby of my own!
And when I do decide to have another baby, it won't be like before. I will be ready for you. You will not sneak up on me. I'll be expecting you with my fists clenched!
If you don't show up. No worries, you were never welcome in my life anyway.
But if you do decide to show up and try to suck the life out of me again, I will lay in the bed no matter how sick and tired I am, and I'll remind myself as I've done twice before, that
"This too shall pass."
You will not steal my babies from me!
Read more about Hyperemesis and it's effects on pregnancy!