Be Good to Your Daughters, They Will Love Like You Do

Isabella: "I am married to Daddy."
Gabriella: "No, I am married to Daddy!"


"Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too"


When I hear those lyrics I just melt. It takes me back to the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville on February 10, 2010.

It was there that I sat in the second to the last row of the nosebleed seats with my husband and listened to John Mayer give the concert of his life.

The sound was so amazing. Whenever I would shut my eyes, I was front row and center at a private MTV Unplugged jam.

And when this song was being sung, all I could think was "Man, this John Mayer fellow is an amazing musician. He really knows his stuff."

Funny though, the "stuff" I was referring to isn't his music, but the message in the song!

The words are so important for every father and mother to hear.

On a night where he spent a significant amount of time tearing up and apologizing to his fans for his derogatory statements during his most recent (at the time) interview with an adult entertainment magazine, he couldn't have said anything more right!

At last, he was saying words we all really need to hear and do.

"Be good to your daughters! Daughters will love like you do!"

I believe this with all of my heart. I witness it daily.

Every bit of love I pour into my girls is reflected in the way that each of them speaks, behaves, and loves in return.

Gabriella: "I just love the babies!"

My heart beats harder!

I think part of the problems in this world today are a result of love not given. All too often children are not treated well and they are suffering inside. The wounds are there whether we see them or not. They will appear in some form or fashion sooner or later.

Love is something we all need.

I'm not talking about the "Of course I love my kids, I made them," love. Some people slide by with the notion that a parent's love comes by default. It doesn't.

Love is intentional!

  • Love is in the way you cleaned the umbilical chord with the most steady hand for fear that it hurts your baby, even when the nurse tells you the gentle cleaning doesn't bother her at all.

  • Love is being patient enough to apply cream to your toddler to prevent diaper rash, even when she's kicking you in the gut to get away.

  • Love is hosting several of your young daughter's closest friends at a sleepover (with tons of drama) and spoiling them, because it means so much to her.

  • Love is telling your daughter she is the most beautiful girl in the world and telling her all the reasons why.

  • Love is being a parent first to your teenaged daughter and not a friend, setting an example for her to follow. It is teaching her to love and value herself and God.

  • Love is staying up late with your college aged daughter to go to the Walmart in the middle of the night and push her in a cart giggling like best friends, even though you'd probably rather be at home.

  • Love is getting a late night call from your adult daughter who is upset, and you jump in your car, on a bus, or the first plane to be by her side, wherever she is.

She will love like you did these things!

That's all we hope for as parents. That we raise our children to be wonderful, happy, full of life, and with lots of love in their hearts.

It doesn't just happen over night and we don't just do it because. It is an intentional effort. We must treat them good. We must show them love so they know how to give and receive love.

With every kiss, hug, compliment I give, or recital I attend, or game I play with my girls, I am purposely planting a seed of love that I hope my daughters return to the world.

I want the men of my daughter's dreams to notice that my girls have been treated well and are very loved! Then I want them to figure out a way to love my girls even more!



So, I pray to God that other parents are loving their boys just as much.



6 comments:

@chambanalaura said...

We heard that song in the hospital the day after our eldest daughter was born and it makes me cry every time. Getting ready for baby girl #3! Thanks for this post.

January 20, 2012 at 8:16 AM
Tonia Sanders said...

We had a new baby girl when we attended the John Mayer concert and I tried my best not to cry when he sang it. Every night Ryan was rocking Gabby to sleep to John's CD, so the music really struck a big chord live.

In the moment, all I could think about was how much I love my girls and all the ways to let them know it. Our babies are so precious!

I'm excited for you having another baby! I will surely miss seeing your face at BlissDom '12!

January 20, 2012 at 8:28 AM

P!nky said...

Awwwwwwwwwww Tonia, what a sweet sweet post! I was lucky enough to have a father (and mother) that I adored! They are both amazing, but there is a special bond between me and my father. He is the man I have measured every guy too and he will always be MY HERO and MISTER FIX IT ALL!

You have an amazing perspective, thanks for sharing!

January 20, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Tonia Sanders said...

Thanks, Pinky! Amazing parents are to be praised. Kids need the love and examples they provide. It's a blessing to have parents like that, but it's a blessing in return to become those people.

January 20, 2012 at 12:39 PM

Bicultural Mama said...

Sweet pictures and post... great perspective that you have!

January 20, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Melinda said...

love that song, makes me think of Dh, he likes that song too.
I have a poem around he somewhere thats a good daddy/daughter connection. Starts with Don't Walk too Fast Daddy (or something like that)

January 20, 2012 at 4:14 PM

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